November 10, 2012
Today my sister came down for our 24 hour pass at the Med Inn. Things did not go nearly as planned. We left Ameir's room at about 2:45pm to head over to the hotel. We got there to drop off our last few supplies then ran down to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. We got back to the room and I fed Ameir and it was time to give him his medicine....we had checked it in the room but missed one so I had to run to the pharmacy to get it. I left Ameir and Melissa in the room to run to pharmacy and get the one they missed. When I got down there I had a mini-panic attack, there were tons of people waiting and I didn't want to leave Ameir a second longer than need be. I finally returned to the room and he was asleep in the crib. Breathe a sign of relief. I finished my lunch then got him out of the crib to play on the bed. He napped on and off while I shopped online and talked to my daughter on Skype.
At 8:00pm Melissa went down to the lobby to look at the takeout menu's so we could order some dinner. She wasn't gone 5 minutes and Ameir's vent started alarming low pressure/disconnect. A few seconds later it alarmed again but did not stop. I turned on the travel vent and disconnected his feeding tube from his feed assessed him and unhooked him from the vent to set him in the carseat on his travel vent. He stopped breathing and clamped down and turned purple and stiffened in a matter of seconds. I grabbed the ambu-bag and hooked him up to bag and ran with him in my arms to the bed. I squeezed counted to 2 and squeezed again...then again.....and again....he has completely shut down his airway and was not letting me bag him. I called 911 while still trying to bag him which rang to hospital security and I asked for an ambulance told them my baby wasn't breathing and he was resisting being bagged. I was still bagging then he went limp and extreme panic set in. I began to scream, then screamed louder, finally I was screaming HELP ME and AMEIR BREATHE. I tried to blow in his face. He was still not breathing or gasping or anything. I have 2 vents alarming, a pulse ox alarming, and someone pounding on the door. I grab Ameir while bagging him and drop the phone to run to the door. It was a nurse that heard me screaming. I let her bag Ameir while I grabbed the suction machine. I tried to suction, nothing.....she continued to bag. Within a minute or two paramedics arrived along with 40+ people from the hospital code team and Melissa comes running down the hall with them. Respiratory and a PICU doctor take over bagging. I grab his go bag and they change his trach there was no plug. Another doctor is trying to get an IV in his scalp, while a third is drilling in his femur to get an IO access to at least give fluids. We were in that hallway of the hotel for what seemed like forever. I was just sure he would take a couple breaths then we could hook him back to the vent and continue on our little mission. Boy was I wrong. The IO they thought was in his femur was not so that was removed. The IV was not able to be established in his head. They decide to move him to the PICU so they can better assess him. As soon as we got off the elevators in the hotel back to the hospital the doctor, RT, several nurses at bedside take off running with the stretcher. No way my fat butt was going to keep up so the social worker said she knew which bed they were going to so we could just walk. They might have been 4-5 minutes in front of me. I walked into the room and he was laying on the stretcher still being bagged while another RT was setting up the vent.
In comes more equipment...ultrasound machine to help get a central line. They tried several times and were not able to get a central line in his groin on either side, so then they move to his arms....also no success. Finally after almost 2 hours they were going to give him a break and stop. They were able to get an IV in his groin so he did have some access for fluids.
After they stopped poking him he had completely turned around. He had good color and was breathing and initiating all his own breaths with the vent (all yellow lines to those of you that know). His nurse gave him a warm soapy bath because there was blood everywhere and gave him a warm blanket. They came in for a chest x-ray and it was perfect, no collapse or anything. By 1:00am all the sedation was wearing off and he was stirring a little so I patted his back and rubbed his head told him it was time to go to bed, I love him and sweet dreams. After he fell asleep I sat in the chair and attempted to sleep, I was beyond exhausted. I didn't get nearly as much sleep as Ameir did, but did get some.
Now this morning he is completely back to his normal self. Even all the red splotches that looked like broken blood vessels have went away from his face. They ran all kinds of tests and put him on 48 hours of IV antibiotics just to be sure something else is not going on. As soon as all the cultures come back his IV will be pulled. The plan is to keep him in the PICU until tomorrow then move him back to his bed in stable vent unit.
Today I sit here choking back tears. What if last night was "the night"? I am not ready for this to be over. I am not ready to not have my little buddy in my arms. This is not fair. Why me? Why do I have to sit on edge every second of every day wondering if it will be my last? I want to see his smile for 10,000 and more days. I want Ameir to chase Adrianna around at the park. I even want them to argue over what I make for dinner. I want to have both of my kids around the Christmas tree on Christmas morning opening presents for the next 30+ years. I want to see Ameir get on the school bus in 5 years waving to me as he goes to his first day of kindergarten.
Please continue to pray for Ameir. Please also pray for my strength.
