NICU (April 24, 2012)
OMG! What a scary place. As soon as the nurse buzzed me in I completely lost it. Emotions got the best of me and I cried the entire walk to the nurses station as I passed all the baby rooms with parents standing around the incubators and heard the tiny little baby cries. Covenant Medical Center Saginaw, Michigan, I met an awesome Dr. here Dr. Chi and he assured me that my baby would be treated equally to all the other babies there. That was big news for me because I have heard of babies with Trisomy 18 not being treated equally or given the same chance. We talked for almost an hour and he told a story of a baby girl with Trisomy 18 he was there for her delivery and care 16 years ago and her mom had sent him several letters updating him that she was still alive after being told that she would not make it and how saddening it was for him to get the letter two years ago when she would have turned 14 years old stating that she had died as a result of injuries in an automobile accident. He used another famous little girl with Trisomy 18 that is 3 now as another example Bella Santorum (her daddy was running for the republican presidential candidate but dropped out to be more available for her) so he in no way was discouraging any care that I want for my son at birth. My birth plan is now near completion in notes here and there I just need to get it typed in a document so my OB can have it in my chart.
"Stella" (April 29, 2012)
Today Adrianna and I took a road trip to Sterling Heights. We met Stella and her mom and dad. Very lovely family. I have been around handicapped adults basically for my whole life and obviously to become a handicapped adult one must start out as a handicapped infant, then child. Stella was just under 4 pounds at birth. Why is this so scary to me? I have never seen a preemie in real life. A baby less than 7 pounds scares me. It makes me think "fragile". I know it is a phase and will pass when I do meet my little man, but it's still very scary now! Currently Stella is small, but very happy. She even let Adrianna and I ~ complete strangers ~ hold and play with her. She has a trach and had a ventilator until Christmas Eve 2011. I read her mom's post this week and they have officially turned in the ventilator! Kind of like a graduation :) Yay for Stella. I was comforted to learn where they got really good care for Stella, and know that option is available to me if I need it. This visit really took away my fear of ventilators. I actually had an instant feeling of comfort as I got in my car to drive home. This visit was what I needed to ease some of my apprehensions on bringing home my baby.
Ultrasound (May 2, 2012)
Today I got to see my little man Amir again. Priceless! He currently weighs 1 pound 7 ounces. This is only the 7th percentile but at least he is on the charts. I also learned that I have over twice the amount of fluid considered normal. That would explain the pressure when I stand and walk, but I am not complaining. Look at how happy he is with all that extra fluid to "swim" in.
Here are his feet, my sister Melissa loves feet.
We now know for sure that Amir's arms are not "normal", and his left foot is clubbed. What does that mean? Nothing to us really. We love him no matter what. It may in the future mean some altering of his long sleeves, luckily I have 2 sisters that can sew and I am sure one would be willing to teach me :)
Life in General
Is alright I guess. I still have a hard time completely focusing on certain tasks. Some days worry drives me completely insane, others I can't stand talking to or being around people at all. I feel more comfortable at home than I do out and at work. However we have bills to pay and NEED the income right now as how long I will be off from work is still a question with no answer.
Adrianna is still being a super big sister. Every time Amir moves she wants to feel him and watch him kick me.
My husband is still kind of quiet about the whole thing as he does not do well with grief.
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